Thinking about Dad today

My dad passed away in December 14th of 2007 and there are some memories I never want to fade especially as my daughter gets older and has more questions. She has started "calling" him on her play phone and tells him what she's doing and what's going on, it's amazing how one moment can bring a tear to your eye and warm your heart at the same time.

I started writing this a couple years ago and add to it when something strikes me that I never want to forget, he was an amazing man. Thinking of you today dad.
_____

My dad was a man who loved a great story, a good joke and the chance to teach anybody something that he knew about. He could captivate an audience, charm anyone and yet seemed a little shy in the oddest of circumstances. He loved a good coat, a good hat and pants that weren’t too long. His daily dress consisted of a button down shirt or a white T-shirt, jeans and a nautical belt. If it was sunny, a hat, since he’d been told to protect his head. He smelled of shaving cream and outside but never cologne. He loved fleece shirts but was picky about them and had a closet full with tags on them to prove it. He could run fast, couldn’t swim well and strolled more than walked.

He was also always ready to teach with a real life lesson. From offering to match anything we’d put into savings to show us the value of planning to setting up pretend fires in the backyard so that we could use a fire extinguisher and understand how it works, he understood the value of teaching someone versus doing it for them. Even though we were girls we knew how to use the tractor, pull start an engine and shoot a gun. Guns were for protection, not play, and having them in the house was never an issue.

He was also never without a tool or a snack. You could ask for any tool out there and not only did he have it, he probably had 3, one still in the package, and would loan it to you. You could ride in his car or truck and there would be snacks in the glove compartment, just in case of an emergency.

He was a man with a schedule and enjoyed his routine. He liked coffee in the morning that wasn’t too hot to drink, lunch at noon and dinner at 5. Whether he was hungry or not, when the clock struck 5 it was dinnertime. Picky he wasn’t and whether it was chicken nuggets or filet mignon, it was just dinner and having it at 5 seemed more important what he was having. In the evenings he enjoyed a good martini, with lots of olives and on those hot summer days there was nothing like a beer, an MGD until he took to Ultra and he never was a Bud man.

At the lake he was in his element. He knew the water and the lake by looking at the shore, knew the weather by the clouds and wind and knew the people he enjoyed spending his time with the most. He was an expert at tying rope and teaching others how to, making trays of drinks for a crowd and putting any boat into the slip, a feat that often seemed like putting a watermelon in a hole that was intended for a lemon. He also enjoyed running the lake at night, a delight to him but I’m sure it scared the life out of many of his guests. He loved a good adventure and the chance to rescue anyone in need.

Weather seemed to always be important to him. From monitoring it for the lake, watching for a full moon so he could spend hours in the hot tub on a cold winter night or run the lake at night in the summer, he always wanted to know what was getting ready to happen, it was all about being prepared and that’s probably why he wasn’t ever crazy about traveling beyond the lake.

He loved children and thought most were sweet but was always willing to sweeten them a little more. For the children on the dock he had long Tootsie Roll logs, for his nephews one Christmas they each received a tool box full of snack and sweets. Easter had it’s own memories and for as long as I can remember we’d awake on Easter morning to baskets full of goodies and the ever present bunny with the teeth marks on the left ear.

He liked the comfort of his home and welcomed others there. For a man who could do so much, ordering food out was never easy, his order was never right. He’s the only person I know that could go to McDonald's for breakfast and they were out of McMuffins, order the special and it’s wrong and finally figured out that it didn’t matter what flavor of turnover he ordered from Arby’s, they would never get it right. He’d take it in stride and grew to expect it.

He was more than just a great man. He was a leader, a teacher, a believer in others, a great storyteller and knew that he would never live to be an old man. For nearly 7 years he packed his days full of life and knew that his days were numbered, while he didn’t talk about it much we knew it was on his mind more than he let anyone know. During those clear nights on the lake when the moon was full and air was cool, or on a snow covered mountain in Montana a certain look would pass over his face and you knew that he was measuring his life against all his dreams and expectations, you knew that this was a man who looked death in the face without fear.

Thought for Thursday...

Letter to Dad

Dad, it's Christmas again and although we think about you throughout the year I miss you the most now. I still can't believe it's been nearly three years since you left us. Christmas hasn't been the same since then and to try and put it into one word, its bittersweet.

Hailey is three years old now and so full of life and I think she saved some of our lives. She knows who you are and hears lots of stories and I try not to get caught up in the fact that I wish she would have gotten to know you and you her. I know you never thought you get to see both Emily and I get married, much less hold a grandchild so I remind myself that the little bit of time you did is a blessing and I cherish those pictures. You would love to be around her, she is so much fun and loves to play rough, laugh and ask endless questions. She's an amazing little girl.

I had heard before that when you lose someone at the holidays it changes the holidays for you and I completely agree with that but it's not all bad changes. The hole that felt punched in my chest is healing and Christmas becomes less about shopping and stress and more about savoring. From the lights to the music, it's the little things that I enjoy the most. There are still things that feel more like a holiday chore but sort of like cleaning the bathroom, I'm glad I did it and when it's finished. I know you were never a big fan of the holidays, the disruption and all, but it was always a peaceful time that was full of visits from people and time to play in the snow. Hailey loves playing in the snow and, just like you, seems to suffer from cabin fever very quickly.

We all miss you so much but I know that you were not destined to be an old man. I can recall talking to you throughout the years that it wasn't the cancer that was killing you, it was the treatment and I know you would have been miserable to have aged on this Earth and learn that your body could no longer keep up with your spirit.

I wouldn't ask for one more day with you, we were blessed with so many extra days that I'd feel selfish you ask for one more but know that we miss you and love you.

Faith Like A Rock...or maybe a marshmellow

Isn't is easy to have faith when life is great, we are overwhelmed with blessing and good news? What about when things get tough? That's when it's easy to question God and say, "really, are you kidding me, are you sure you know what you're doing here"? I have a big problem with this myself and in all honesty my complaints should be few and far between, I am much more blessed than I deserve and try to remind myself of that regularly but when the going gets tough I usually wonder, where is God going with this? I know where doubt, worry and confusion come from and it's not God so I try to remind myself that God already knows His plans for me, he knows my past, where I am at this very moment and what my future holds. He can see the big picture for my life instead of the snapshot that I can see.

It's sort of like looking through a photo album and there is one bad picture of you. You're frowning, your hair is a wreck and you know you look terrible (this album must be at your parents house, certainly not in your album at your house!). Imagine if someone opened the album to that photo and only looked at that one, would that give them an accurate picture of your life? Of course not, it was one bad moment, unfortunately captured on film and, even worse, made it into an album but we do that with our life. We forget about the big picture and take one day, week or year and convince ourselves that our life is terrible, even though we know that it's just a snapshot of a much bigger and very beautiful picture. God loves each of us, more than we can possibly imagine and He doesn't want a life for us that is full of doubt or worry. He wants us to live the beautiful picture that He has created.

Why Wait?

My 3yr old daughter has recently starting holding hugs and kisses and at any point in a day you can have this conversation with her....
"Can I have a hug?"
"No mommy, not right now."
"Why not?"
"'Cause"
"Because why?"
"Because mommy, I'm saving it for later and it will be better!"

Although I can't help but laugh (and so does she) I also know that the hug she gives me now won't get any better. I think God is the same way. He wants us right now, as we are. He doesn't want us to try and improve ourselves. He wants us to give the little bit of time or money or love that we have at this very moment. He will wait on us as long as we need but we don't need to wait on Him, he's ready with open arms because he knows that we have to offer right now will not be any better later.

What are you entitled to?

Have you ever thought about what you deserve? Do you deserve the job, friends or family you have? Do you deserve food on your table, the car you drive, the house you live in? Some may say yes but I say no. I don't DESERVE any of those things and I'm certainly not entitled to them. I am BLESSED but not entitled and I think there is a big difference.

You can go into any store and see people frustrated about the check out line (usually not more then 3 people in front of them) and I can't help but think, have you ever been to a country where they wait for HOURS to get the basics? As a society what makes us feel so entitled to get things that we really don't deserve. I see people driving too close, too fast and I can't help but think, what makes you entitled to make someone else think they are in your way when you're both going the same way?

I'd never say that I don't get frustrated or have those moments when I feel more stressed than blessed but I try to remind myself that the opposite is true. I am blessed beyond measure and just because I was blessed enough to be born into a county like the US, doesn't make me entitled to things.

Since I was born on this earth, I am entitled to death. Nothing more. But as a Christian I believe that God wants our life to last much longer than what we have on this earth so he offers an eternal life through his forgiving grace. I am not entitled to eternal life and there is nothing I can do it deserve it, I just have to ask and seek Him in my life. Receiving that is a blessing like none other.

Thought for Thursday...What's Your Purpose?

Thought for Thursday...Impossible is just a word people use to not TRY

Is Halloween BAD?

I was listening to the radio yesterday and, once again, was awestruck by something I heard.

The discussion was Halloween and how many Christians feel that it's a holiday they shouldn't celebrate but just like any other day of the year, God made that day too. Then the discussion went to the fact that many people believe that Halloween is the high holy day for those who worship Satan and that's not the case at all. Their high holy day is their birthday. That's right, whatever that persons birthday is, is their own personal high holy day and here's the point that really struck me. Satan doesn't care whether you worship him or not, he just wants you to worship something OTHER than God. It can by yourself, money, your job, your family, anything at all but make your life and your love all about you. Now how clever and deceptive is that? How many people do you know who say, I love Satan? Probably not many but whether they admit it or not, how people out there love the power that comes with their job, or the money they make at their job? The Bible even says that the LOVE is money is the root of all evil. Got that? Not money itself, God can use money for lots of good things and I firmly believe that those who use their money for Gods will and bless Him with it, will be blessed with more but you still shouldn't love the money but back to my original point...

I went to a Christian school and we had a fall festival and every church you drive by this time of year has signs for a fall festival or trunk-or-treating but I've not seen any that mention the word Halloween, since when is that a bad holiday or bad word? Personally, I really enjoy Halloween and I have no fear in saying that. I've blogged already about enjoying this time of year and Halloween is a part of that. Sure, I steer away from the "scary stuff" but I'm prone to nightmares and I've had my fill of haunted houses over the years.

So this year I will still carve a pumpkin, still dress up my little girl, smile at all the trick-or-treaters and enjoy the day because above all else, it's another day that God made and I will REJOICE and be glad in it! God Bless and Happy Halloween!

Left Behind

I am back to reading the Left Behind series again, I had taken a break since I didn't have book 6 (Assassins) but finally found it at a discount bookstore and am already half way through it.

Again I am struck but this series and if anyone reading here is hesitant to start it due to the number of books, you can read the first book and stop, I've read the first one numerous times.

The further I get into the series the more and more I am both compelled and awestruck. A part of me wonders, is this a wonderfully written piece of Christian fiction that could, one day, become non-fiction? I cannot imagine the day and am happy to know that I wouldn't be around to see it happen but it also makes me fear and dread those days for those I love and cherish who are too stubborn, busy or careless about their eternal life. If you are curious about these books, I dare you to take a read, challenge yourself and let yourself wonder, what if this is fiction based on truth?

I could be wrong about it all and just living with blind faith but what if I'm right? What if the Bible is true? I'm willing to admit that I could be wrong about it all, but faith tells me that I'm right and I hope you take the time to see for yourself, life on Earth is short, too short to put it off.

Thought for Thursday...YOU ARE WORTHY

What a Mess!

I have a wonderful, creative and energetic 3yr old little girl and she often comes to me with knotted hair, some crumbs around her mouth, dirt smeared across her face, a runny nose, clothes that were only clean for the first 10 minutes she was wearing them and hands that have explored, touched and carried more things that I can imagine and in those moments she often wants my attention and a hug. As most moms can attest to, I don't drag her to the tub in those moments, I listen, watch, hug and sometimes wonder how long this will last before it's not my attention she wants or she's "too big" for a hug from mom.

Just like I cherish those moments and minutes I believe that God cherishes the times we come to Him. I believe he is content to watch us from a distant, like I am with my daughter or to hear from others the good work that was done but I believe when we come to Him, talk to Him, share with Him, ask Him to listen, help and guide that He savors those moments like any parent does with a child. Also like any parent He is willing to let us make mistakes, to let us learn the hard way, to figure it out, all the watching and knowing that He could fix it, stop it or guide us.

My daughter has a stubborn streak like so many do at her age but what's my excuse? Why can't I let go and let God more than I do? When do we start "knowing better" and asking first? I don't have answers to these questions but I see the child in her and am reminded of the child I am to God, with my dirty hands and messy face, He is always there and willing.

Give Till It Hurts

There is a Christian radio station that I really enjoy, in the Louisville, KY area it's on 93.9 but it's called WAY-FM and it's a national station. You can also listen online. I'm not necessarily promoting this station (it's a GREAT station) but they are in the midst of their fall giving campaign and I've been struck by the giving of some people. There have been children giving their birthday money, single moms with little to spare giving all they can and families with tight budgets giving as well. The more I hear, the more I wonder, when was the last time I gave until it hurt?

I'm also reminded of a very dear friend who recently decided with her husband and young child that foreign missions was calling and they sold their house, their belongings, put a few items into storage and packed several suitcases to follow God's call to mission training. Yes, they are in Hawaii for their training but it's not suntans and site seeing. They are seeing God's work in those around them and feeling drawn into the mission field with faith like a child. They are willing and going and giving...until it hurts. I admire their strength and courage, dedication and devotion and I have no doubt that God will use them in an amazing way. I also wonder, when I have faith like that and give until it hurts, what can God do for me and with me?

Change of Seasons

I LOVE fall. It's certainly my favorite season. I love the colors, the cooler weather, the clothing change from a summer that was too long, the pumpkins and changing leaves, the kids getting ready for Halloween, the amazing sunsets and the ripe red apples. It's a short season that's low maintenance since most yard work is wrapping up and days are getting shorter, there isn't much concern yet about holiday shopping or preparing for brutally cold temperatures. Have I said that I LOVE this season?

Fall also reminds me that everything has a season. I know that throughout my life I've held on to things and people longer that I should have. I've convinced myself that I know better than God sometimes and the current view that I have sometimes gets in the way of His omnipresent view. Fall reminds me to step away, let go and let God. Like the leaves that slowly appear in the early spring, are green and shady in the summer then turn to colors of bright red and orange in the fall, God always has a plan, a beautiful and sometimes confusing plan but it's always greater than what we could ever imagine.

Sometimes God answers prayers with a yes, sometimes a no and sometimes His response is to wait. Wait for the season that he has in mind, his plan is always greater.

My Testimony

I believe that if I am going to start blogging about my faith and my love for God then I have to share my personal story.

I was blessed long before I knew God as my Lord and Savior, by having the priviledge of attending a Christian school from kindergarten so I knew who God was at a young age. As I moved through elementary and middle school I started seeing friends accept Christ and thought it was cool but was convinced I knew who God was already. When I reached high school I had some passionate teachers and parents of friends who had a love for God that I've never seen before. I realized that knowing God and being a child of God where two different things. However, I knew what the Christian life was all about and I didn't want to stop "having fun". I wasn't a "bad" kid but I wanted to be able to say a cuss word, gossip, lie and do what I wanted without the guilt. I planned to become a child of God once I was an old woman. I really had this thought in high school that I would live my life as I wanted and after I had lived it up, I would accept God and be ready for eternal life after I lived MY life. Little did I know that God had another plan....

Late in my junior year of high school I really started to feel the pull of God on my heart, but I resisted. I knew the truth and what I needed to do, I had even made a public commitment years before but it was more from peer pressure than anything I felt. I made it through the school year and had a fun summer before my senior year. When my senior year started so did the pull and before long we were planning our senior retreat, a weekend trip for seniors only and I was looking forward to the fun and knew I could fake the bible studies, group time, etc. since I'd been doing it for years. The first night a good friends mom, who was also a teacher at the school, saw me crying and starting asking me some pretty tough questions. I knew that she KNEW me, I was good friends with her daughter, I'd spend the night at her house many times, but the questions she asked were so pointed, I couldn't lie and I didn't. I felt the love she had in her heart through those questions and before long she lead me through the salvation plan but this time, it wasn't words, it was very real. I immediately felt exhausted and tired (too many years of pretending) but also refreshed and renewed. I wanted to tell everyone and I did. I lived the life in the months ahead, I read the Bible, I was baptized, I was surrounded by friends and guided by the love that others offered on my faith walk. I became really good friends with a small group of guys and girls and we spent endless amounts of time together, went on "fake dates" as a group, prayed together and loved one another and God. As graduation approached I wrote a touching poem about my faith that ended up on our graduation program and I knew I was ready for college.

As I started at WKU I saw the temptations that others around me were falling to and a group of friends started atteneding meetings with a college Christian organization. I went with them and enjoyed it but it wasn't what I needed that that point. I tried to not be judgemental or fake and I wanted to find a home church for my college years. A small group of us visited many and some found church homes but I contined my search till the middle of my sophomore year. I met a couple of people from that area, became good friends with them and were welcome in their parents homes and they invited me to their church and I went, rather willingly, even though it was several miles outside of Bowling Green. As soon as I entered that church the first time, I felt the Holy Spirit and it was the cold drink of water I was searching for. I attending church very regularly including Wednesday night Bible studies, Sunday School, college group activities and became really good friends with several in the group. At the end of my sophomore year I was invited on a mission trip and spent 6 amazing weeks between Belize and the inner island of Jamica. I saw things I'd never dreamed of and felt blessed in ways that I never imagined. My faith became something I could talk about, wrap myself in for comfort and share with others very freely. I was on a spiritual high and considered mission work for my future. Returning from that trip wasn't easy but I knew what I experienced wasn't gone, I just had think about my faith in my daily life like I had on that trip.

By the start of my junior year I was helping with Acteens, moving out of the dorm and into a house with one of the girls and enjoying this new persective on college life. We weren't perfect and there was plenty of drama within our group but we were friends and loved and talked about God. That year had its ups and down but in December I had a phone call out of the blue from an ex-boyfriend (B) and we agreed to see each other during my Christmas break. I can admit now I never got over him from high school and when I saw him again, all of those feelings came flooding back. I prayed about it and told God exactly what I wanted but also felt my world moving from being God centered to being B centered, I knew it wasn't right but I coudn't stop it.

My senior summer I returned home, even though I could've stayed in the house and in the Bowling Green area, and worked at a summer camp and spent time with B. When I returned to school I was different but quickly fell back into church, bible study but made more and more trips home. I sensed that friends were worrying but I found excuses to dodge difficult conversations. I was balancing school, a relationship with B and friendships. Then in December B proposed and I was beyond excited. During December I also moved out of the house I'd been sharing with the girlfriend from our college group. She and I weren't spending much time together anyways and, with very little said about it, I packed up and moved out and into a house with K&G, two people that were like Christian parents to me and their son, who was also in our college group, had recently moved out so I moved into his room. Looking back at the generosity and love they showed to me, I may have known I was blessed then but now, it's a whole new level of understanding, they are amazing people. As graduation approached so did my wedding date and B and I had just bought a house as well. Life was moving full speed ahead and when wedding invitations were sent to BWG to the friends I considered family, I heard from very few of them and was crushed. I believed it was because they were upset that I was moving away and marrying someone they didn't approve of. As the years passed I heard from a couple of them a few times but that life seemed long gone.

As B and I built our life in Louisville, we took trips, spent time with family and friends, had good jobs and felt blessed. The extent of our faith life was tithing, we've always tithed 10% of our income and felt blessed for the jobs we have and income we make. Aside from that, we both believed, talked about praying for things but it wasn't a very active Christian life. Years passed, we moved, were blessed with a daughter and I lost my dad. Having just given birth 4 months earlier it was a very emotional time and all of the grief and sadness I felt was pushed aisde so I could care for an infant. I put all of myself into caring for her and the relationships around me suffered. I was in a very dark place, could feel it and, little did I know I wouldn't see the LIGHT for awhile. For the next couple years I felt like I was just surviving day to day and not enjoying or savoring life at all. As our 10th anniversary approached I decided to do a collection of photos in a book for B and working on the project I found old letters, journals, notes and pictures that forced me to see the recall a life that I thought was gone. As I read my own words about the friendships I had I knew I had made some big mistakes and not only walked away from friendships but also walked away from God. For the first time in a long time I prayed and felt the love that I'd thrived on in years past. In the next several weeks I felt my soul being cleaned and my spirit being awakened and I found a part of myself that was ever gone. I also knew it was time to make some ammends. I made some phone calls, sent some emails and make two trips to BWG to see people that I hadn't seen in a decade and each person seemed to believe the same thing, that it was good to see me, they missed me and I was welcomed back with open arms. I felt blessed beyond measure and while this area of my life was unpacked and reopened, other parts of my life felt like they were falling apart. Yes, I was upset and angry but I also prayed about thing and found guidance from a couple people, K&G and also P, a long time friend, all who give solid Christian advice and none of the "you poor things advice" that I didn't need or want to hear. My life still feels like a rollar coaster most days but I can get through it with Gods help. I am not alone and never will be. God has given me wisdom and understanding, patience and perseverance and reminds me regulary that he is the only judge and jury because he is omnipotent, since I am not I cannot be judge or jury to anyone. He is the only all knowing and all powerful one in my life and all things work together for the good of HIM!

Although this is my testimony it grows and changes everyday. I love God with all my heart and feel a warmth from Christian radio, blessing from faith based books and his never ending love from the Bible. I am blessed beyond measure and deserve nothing that I have, including his love for me. His light guides my days and comforts my nights, he is now and always there for me.

Left Behind

I've been reading the Left Behind book series and I've just finished Book 5 and am on a quest to find book #6 without paying $15+ from a bookstore. I already have books 7-10 but still need 6 to keep reading.

As I've been reading through this series (not easy since I LOVE to read but so does my 3yr old so I end up reading a chapter, then reading a book to her) its really opened my eyes and heart about the second coming of Christ. Whether its in my lifetime, that of my child, my grandchildren or future generations it will happen, that's a promise we have. When that day comes everyone who has asked Jesus into their heart, confessed their sins and become a child of His will immediately go to Heaven. I am not going to debate the topic and if you want to think about from a very personal perspective then I suggest you read Left Behind, the first book. It's the story of those who were left behind and the immediate pain and longing that some experience while others have denial, scientific explanations for millions who suddenly go missing with only a pile of clothing left behind. (I recommend reading the series but you could just read the first book and stop there.)

I have no doubt that if the Rapture were to happen in my lifetime that I would only be a pile of clothing but what about those I love around me? Would they be left behind to endure what comes following the Rapture? Would they understand what had happened? I have prayed regularly, while reading through this series, for those who will have to endure what comes after the Rapture. Faith is such a gift and I can wear a Christian t-shirt, say God Bless, walk into a Christian bookstore and purchase whatever I want and have no fear about who hears or sees me doing it. I am blessed with that freedom and I often take it for granted.

New Direction....

I've taken a LONG break from blogging and I doubt that any of my previous readers are still out there but I am changing my direction and what I write about. I am going to write about things that are on my heart and mind and for months now, that has been my love for God and the life that Jesus has given us on this Earth.

I'm not going to get preachy or pushy and you can read it or ignore it but this is who I am and I cannot hide that. It's very real and very emotional and my new posts may read more like a daily devotion from a Christian woman to loves her daughter, her husband, her family and God.

I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you think about your life and the way you impact others around you.

I believe we are on this Earth for a very short period of time and it is simply to prepare us for an eternal life in Heaven and that our time on Earth should be spent storing up eternal treasures and glorifying God and the blessings we have.

Hope on Good Friday

Have you ever seen the movie "My Life" with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman? I've seen it several times but I caught a few minutes of it the other day and (this isn't a spoiler if you've not seen it) shortly after being told by a doctor that there is no cure, treatments or anything else they can do for his cancer Michael Keaton (Bob, in the movie) leaves with his wife (Nicole Kidman) and you can see and feel their devastation regarding that news. When they get to the car he runs back inside, charges up to the doctor and says how dare you take my hope, that's all I have left.

Have you ever let someone take your hope or taken it from someone else? Maybe you've given it to someone that didn't have much but it's a powerful thing to have. When you have nothing else to believe in, no reason to think a situation will change or get any better - you can still hope. This weekend is Easter and regardless of what you know about the Easter story it is full of hope, miracles and redemption.

I HOPE you have a wonderful Easter that is filled with family and love.

Naturally Sweet!

My daughter has never had a sucker. She's not diabetic and doesn't have food problems but she's never eaten a sucker, a candy bar, a brownie and she's nearly 3 years old. How and why you ask?

I can't say it's as easy as it was when she was 1 since she's rapidly approaching the age of, "here do you want a sucker sweetie?" from the bank teller, grocery store clerk, gas station manager but we either say no thanks or we take it and toss it, depending on the situation and I LOVE the places that offer a sticker. That means there are no grocery store tantrums in the check out line and no requests for Pop Tarts on Saturday mornings (they aren't even in the house). She doesn't eat junk food. Don't get me wrong she loves pretzels, popcorn, crackers so we have to read labels for sodium but she'll beg for strawberries, blueberries, peanut butter with a little honey (yes, I know, there's sugar there but it's in the fruit too), and once in awhile she'll have a sugar free cookie. When she has pancakes she has sugar free syrup, for her birthday it's a reduced sugar cake and minimal icing, for dessert it might be a roll with a little honey, a yogurt in a "dessert" flavor, or even a banana.

I don't have an issue with sugar, personally I love sugar, but I've switched to Splenda myself and I am working hard to get over my own addition to sweets, especially chocolate. We are all eating healthier, reading labels more and I know it won't last forever I want her to understand that she can satisfy a craving for something sweet in other ways than chocolate.

With Easter just around the corner I am already working on her basket. There are some bubbles, a small kite, some seeds to plant and a puzzle but no candy. I'll write more as has basket gets closer to being finished but Easter brings spring weather so there is lots I can add without feeling a need to add a big chocolate bunny!

Blowing the Budget!

My family has recently taken a love to fruit. We've always been into apples, bananas and some of the summer berries but lately we've been eating blueberries, strawberries and so much more on a weekly basis and it's blowing my grocery budget! Does anyone have any tips for saving money on fruit? I shop at a warehouse store on occasion and always check their fruit for quality and price but it's not a huge savings and, like I said, we're eating lots of fruit every week.

I did find this site, it's nationwide, that I look forward to taking advantage of this summer and hopefully picking some of our own fruit but it's only March and here in KY our growing season is a short one!

http://www.pickyourown.org/KY.htm

Faith in Action

I'm not a minister, theologist or extremely knowledgeable of the Bible but I do know a little something about faith and I've seen faith in action lately, like never before.

A dear from of mine, from years ago, and I recently reconnected and she told me how her and her husband along with their child had felt called into foreign ministry. They are currently selling belongings, packing and praying for the journey ahead and I've found myself wondering, could I do the same thing? Although they are in a very different place (and location) they are leaving everything that is "home" to them to set off on a journey like never before. That is faith in action to me and I pray for them daily. They have had love and support, criticism and critics and I pray for their upcoming journey and strength as they prepare.

Another friend of mine found a lump in her breast, is younger than 30 and within 2 weeks of finding it had a double mastectomy and started chemo. As a young woman, mother and wife she has encountered things that I cannot imagine but she has never doubted her faith or questioned, why me. Since she has no family history and I've wondered, what if it was me, would me faith carry me through as it has her? She prays for healing and comfort but also for those who she met in and out of doctors offices and hospitals and she has a level of understanding that amazes me. I find myself praying for her a lot in every aspect I can think of, from financial debt (being sick is expensive!) to peace, to strength to sunny days. She has thrown away her rose colored glasses and know life isn't perfect but has an internal strength that I truly admire.

I don't tell these stories to make anyone sad or depressed because these people aren't. They have good days and bad but their faith and strength carries them through. I often feel like I have a faith meter and some days it's all the way at the top, ringing an imaginary bell like a carnival game, then other days it's just halfway there, then on some days it feels like the bottom wants to fall out and it takes a little more prayer to get things climbing, but it always climbs and when it's at the top, it's an amazing view.

I'm Back!

To say it's been awhile is putting it mildly but blogging got to feeling like a chore and not a pleasure so I took a break but I'm back with a new focus. Thanks to any readers who find me again and comments are welcome to leave a message!